Have you ever said something negative about someone, only to discover that person was in earshot from you? I confess, this has happened to me more than I care to admit.
While watching a high school baseball game I made some critical comments about one individual athlete on the home team. I spoke about the lack of talent and intelligence in this young lad (putting it nicely). A few moments later, I noticed the player's mother was one row in front of me. Open mouth, insert foot.
Last week, I said some unflattering things about a parent, only to realize the parent's son was right next to me. Then it dawned on me. Just about every time I open my big mouth to cut another person down, it bites me in the rear. I don't necessarily think the negative outcomes are a coincidence.
On the flip-side, it seems to me, that treating others well can have some unintended positive consequences.
During my college years I shared some education classes with a girl named Kathy. Kathy was a fun-loving gal with a good heart. During the course of a semester I got to know Kathy better and became friends with her. Turns out Kathy grew up just 25 minutes from my hometown of Jordan. She lived in Le Sueur, the land of the Jolly Green Giant.
After college, Kathy and I lost contact and went our separate ways.
Seven years pass after college, and a posting for a community education director opens. In Le Sueur. Kathy's hometown. Before this opening I had been applying for community education director positions at many school districts in the Twin Cities metro area, only to receive numerous rejection letters. For the better part of 11 years, I had been putting all my efforts into becoming a community ed. director.
For whatever reason, the job in Le Sueur felt promising. So I sent in my cover letter and resume. Weeks pass after the application deadline, and I don't hear anything. Not a good omen. Then on a Friday morning, I received a call from the Le Sueur-Henderson school district superintendent asking for an interview the next week.
In between rehearsing answers to possible interview questions, and researching the school district, our family decided to go to chutes and ladders in Bloomington. Funny thing happened there. I ran into Kathy, the only person I've ever met from Le Sueur. "I think this is a sign," my wife mentions to me.
It gets better.
Naturally Kathy and I discuss what we've been doing the past seven years, and I bring up that I have an interview at the school in Le Sueur. Then Kathy says, "Did you know my dad works for the school as the district accountant?"
Are you serious! What are the chances of running into Kathy, and her dad works for the district I am applying to, and has strong connections with the man who will be hiring me!? Unbelievable!
When we returned home that afternoon, we found it humorous to see the legion baseball team just happened to be playing Le Sueur.
A day after the interview, I was offered the job. Coincidence? I'm not sure. I like to think God had something to do about it. Did Kathy's dad put in a good word for me? I don't know. However, I do know that if I was a jerk to Kathy, her father would have raised some red flags about me, and I wouldn't have been hired.
Talk about a reason to treat people with love and respect. You never know if the relationships you have with others, or the way you talk about others, will open or close doors for you.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Confessions of a wedding bartender, part I
Today's wedding tale occurred a few weeks ago at the number one rated public golf course in the state and my wedding employer, Ridges at Sand Creek in Jordan.
Walking into the wedding hall with my tuxedo shirt and bow tie, I hear a female co-worker announce that Tommy Kramer, former NFL Vikings Quarterback, was out on the course golfing. Not only was he golfing, she exclaimed, but she had kissed him. On the lips! Whoa ho! The 40 year old married woman was beaming. Well that's kinda cool I thought. It's not too often that anyone of any notoriety comes to Jordan.
After setting up the bar, my bartender friends settle into our cramped but cozy spot behind the bar and start dishing out mixed drinks and tap beer.
Later dinner is served and the teenage bus boys and girls frantically work the tables to fill water glasses, and clear dishes. A couple hours pass by, and this wedding is turning into your standard wedding reception. I mention to my bartender friends, that the last month of weddings has yet to produce many water cooler stories.
Enter Tommy Kramer
"I think we have our story." I said to my co-workers as I nodded towards Two-Minute Tommy.
Those Minnesotans who are old enough to remember Two-Minute Tommy, remember that he liked to have his share of adult beverages. Today was no exception. Tommy was drunk as a skunk and he was crashing this small town wedding.
And the wedding guests were loving it! "Look - it's Tommy Kramer!" "Hey, Let's get our picture taken with Tommy Kramer!" Tommy was shooting the breeze with everyone and posing for pictures.
It wasn't long before Tommy came to the bar and ordered a drink. We asked him what he was doing here in Jordan. He replied that he lives in Texas, but hates to sweat when he golfs so he comes to Minnesota to golf.
Then out of the blue the M.O.B (mother of the bride) yells, "EEECKKK!!! Tommy Kramer! Tommy Kramer! You have to dance with my daughter!" She proceeds to grab him by the hand and run him to the dance floor where the bride and her new husband are dancing alone on the dance floor. The newlyweds are gazing lovingly into each other eyes when mom and Tommy burst onto the floor and cut into their dance. The bride had a confused look in her eyes that screamed, "Who is this guy? What is going on?" While the husband just stood there with a blank look on his face..
Mom watched with a big smile while others went up to take Tommy and the new bride's picture while the two of them awkwardly danced. I'm positive the bride had no idea who Tommy Kramer was, but just went with the flow anyway.
The wedding guests loved him.
Why? I think its because we admire people who have done the extraordinary. Playing for the Vikings is extraordinary. What I don't get is, why does Tommy Kramer, choose to waste the opportunity with his notoriety? His legacy, unless he changes, will be a life of drunkeness. It's been 20 years since Tommy has played football. 2 decades wasted in more ways than one.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
To the Jordan High School class of 1995
Last Saturday, 20 members from the class of 1995 met to reminisce and reconnect. It has been 15 years since we roamed the halls of Jordan high school. With this reunion, we've now spent more time since graduation away from each other than our years spent together in school.
That blows my mind - how can we be that old where our time out of school has surpassed our time together!?!
15 years have come and gone, but I remember something funny that happened to our class. I mean something really unusual. Something that defies belief in today's society.... We all got along. Don't get me wrong, our cohesiveness definitely wasn't the case in junior high and even during our junior year. We had our cliques, our differences. I bet each one of us, if we are being honest, could say we treated others poorly and were ourselves victims of being treated badly. But senior year we realized that this was it, after graduation we wouldn't see each other every day. We'd maybe see each other every five years. By the time we went on our senior trip to Wisconsin Dells we all realized the end of school was here and we were going to make the most of it. We enjoyed our remaining days together.
I don't remember who gave our commencement speech, or even what the speech was about. Maybe all of you have forgotten the commencement speech too. Since I forgot that message, and since I've always wanted to give a commencement speech, I'd like to write to you as if the date is June 1995, and I am still a young kid, head full of hair and ambition, looking to make his mark on the world.
Congratulations to the class of 1995,
We are a unique and successful group. Never before has a Jordan high school class been so successful. We experienced state tournament appearances, conferences championships, not just in one sport in one season, but multiple sports in EACH fall, winter, and spring season. Unprecedented. But you know what I noticed. We did it all without superstar athletes. Not one person from our class will go on to play at a division I college. Because we worked harder than anyone else, we accomplished more. You have proved that work ethic and team work is more valuable than talent.
Think back to 1st grade. You were innocent, young, and knew what you were good at. When you were in elementary school you listened to the voice in your head telling you were good at something. It might have been doing art, music, fixing things, storytelling, or sports. Whatever it was, it got you out of bed in the morning. But somewhere down the line, something changed. By the time we reached junior high we began to lose that first grade innocence and stopped listening to what we were made to do. By junior high, the world, our teachers, and sometimes our parents told us it was more important to go after "safe" jobs that will pay the bills and support a family. You started listening to others, rather than yourself.
Start listening to that voice again. When you're 35 years old don't stop listening. Recall your passions and figure out a way to bring it back into your life. Am I telling you to quit your job and try out for the Twins? No. That's not realistic. But maybe at night, you turn off the TV, and tune into your strengths. I'm NOT talking about the stuff you're good at. I'm talking about the stuff that makes you lose track of time, the activities that make you come alive and make you feel strong. Those are your strengths! Rediscover your passion and figure out how to incorporate it into your job, or how you can do it on a small scale on the side on weekends.
At the very least, teach your children to follow their dreams. Instead of focusing on the F on the report card, have them focus on subjects they get an A in, subjects that they enjoy and have the capacity excel in. Their growth will be in areas they are good in, if they focus all their energy on their weakness, life becomes boring, and the improvements minimal.
More importantly, our time on this spinning rock is short. Before you know it, we'll be celebrating double digit class reunions. In that time frame, some of you will experience love on an incredible new level when your children are born. Some of you will feel the pain of losing a loved one. Unlike our senior year, we won't know when our time together will end. But you must, just like the end of our senior year, make the most of your relationships with others.
Don't wait until its too late. Do it now. Don't let high school or college be the best years of your life.
That blows my mind - how can we be that old where our time out of school has surpassed our time together!?!
15 years have come and gone, but I remember something funny that happened to our class. I mean something really unusual. Something that defies belief in today's society.... We all got along. Don't get me wrong, our cohesiveness definitely wasn't the case in junior high and even during our junior year. We had our cliques, our differences. I bet each one of us, if we are being honest, could say we treated others poorly and were ourselves victims of being treated badly. But senior year we realized that this was it, after graduation we wouldn't see each other every day. We'd maybe see each other every five years. By the time we went on our senior trip to Wisconsin Dells we all realized the end of school was here and we were going to make the most of it. We enjoyed our remaining days together.
I don't remember who gave our commencement speech, or even what the speech was about. Maybe all of you have forgotten the commencement speech too. Since I forgot that message, and since I've always wanted to give a commencement speech, I'd like to write to you as if the date is June 1995, and I am still a young kid, head full of hair and ambition, looking to make his mark on the world.
Congratulations to the class of 1995,
We are a unique and successful group. Never before has a Jordan high school class been so successful. We experienced state tournament appearances, conferences championships, not just in one sport in one season, but multiple sports in EACH fall, winter, and spring season. Unprecedented. But you know what I noticed. We did it all without superstar athletes. Not one person from our class will go on to play at a division I college. Because we worked harder than anyone else, we accomplished more. You have proved that work ethic and team work is more valuable than talent.
Think back to 1st grade. You were innocent, young, and knew what you were good at. When you were in elementary school you listened to the voice in your head telling you were good at something. It might have been doing art, music, fixing things, storytelling, or sports. Whatever it was, it got you out of bed in the morning. But somewhere down the line, something changed. By the time we reached junior high we began to lose that first grade innocence and stopped listening to what we were made to do. By junior high, the world, our teachers, and sometimes our parents told us it was more important to go after "safe" jobs that will pay the bills and support a family. You started listening to others, rather than yourself.
Start listening to that voice again. When you're 35 years old don't stop listening. Recall your passions and figure out a way to bring it back into your life. Am I telling you to quit your job and try out for the Twins? No. That's not realistic. But maybe at night, you turn off the TV, and tune into your strengths. I'm NOT talking about the stuff you're good at. I'm talking about the stuff that makes you lose track of time, the activities that make you come alive and make you feel strong. Those are your strengths! Rediscover your passion and figure out how to incorporate it into your job, or how you can do it on a small scale on the side on weekends.
At the very least, teach your children to follow their dreams. Instead of focusing on the F on the report card, have them focus on subjects they get an A in, subjects that they enjoy and have the capacity excel in. Their growth will be in areas they are good in, if they focus all their energy on their weakness, life becomes boring, and the improvements minimal.
More importantly, our time on this spinning rock is short. Before you know it, we'll be celebrating double digit class reunions. In that time frame, some of you will experience love on an incredible new level when your children are born. Some of you will feel the pain of losing a loved one. Unlike our senior year, we won't know when our time together will end. But you must, just like the end of our senior year, make the most of your relationships with others.
Don't wait until its too late. Do it now. Don't let high school or college be the best years of your life.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Yelling vs. The Blues
Ever heard the phrase, "If you're not mad you're not paying attention."? I think I would like to change it to, "If you're not inspired, then you're not paying attention." Today I was inspired by a pretty talented cross country coach.
With two weeks to go before the end of the cross country season, and with the workouts increasing in difficulty it is not unusual for some of the cross country athletes to start coming up with excuses to miss the tough workouts.
Coaches don't like it when players miss practice in any sport. Period. So when the Le Sueur Giants cross country team started missing some athletes last week, the head coach noticed. He mentioned to me that he had a plan to "rile up the team" come Monday's workout. He didn't tell me his plan.
Flashback to 1992:
I'm a high school freshman on the junior varsity basketball team. The coach, Brian Wierke. The man knew basketball, and was a recent college graduate from Bemidji State University. While there he was a four year college basketball letter winner and was captain of the team. I immediately liked him. He taught me more about basketball than any of my other coaches. He was a yeller, and when we didn't play well - he let us know about it. We were horrible, so he yelled a lot. He once said that if he stopped yelling, that was a sign that he stopped caring. That stuck with me.
Fast forward 18 years to Monday's workout:
When the cross country coach told me he was going to "rile up the team" I wasn't sure what he was going to say, I was expecting the inevitable. Fireworks. He was going to let them have it. I knew that for sure. He cares for the kids on the team as if they are his own sons and daughters, and like coach Wierke said, if the coach stops yelling, he stops caring.
It's now 3:15. While the cross country team is warming up, the coach solemnly sits on the bench. He doesn't say a word. He pays no attention to the team. When the team is finished warming up he calls them over and has them take a seat on the ground.
A few moments of silence pass... and visions of a Hitler like rampage are running through my head. (For an example go here ).
Then he spoke, "This time of year, in any sport, kids start to lose interest. Last week there were a lot less runners on Thursday than there was on Monday, and for Saturdays workout only a couple of you showed up. I sometimes forget that not everyone has the same passion for running that I do."
He paused. Turned his hat backwards, put on sunglasses, and from his backpack he took out...
a harmonica. And started to sing: "The cross country blues!" A humorous song that brought smiles to all the kids faces and encouraged them to run strong and to run for each other - the cornerstones of the cross country team. He also sang of how fast the season flies by, and to appreciate each day together. He had spent the whole weekend writing the music and lyrics. It was awesome!
Now you tell me which method is more powerful, yelling or "The Blues"? Today I learned a valuable lesson, that you can accomplish more by building up students, then by yelling.
Thanks Coach!
With two weeks to go before the end of the cross country season, and with the workouts increasing in difficulty it is not unusual for some of the cross country athletes to start coming up with excuses to miss the tough workouts.
Coaches don't like it when players miss practice in any sport. Period. So when the Le Sueur Giants cross country team started missing some athletes last week, the head coach noticed. He mentioned to me that he had a plan to "rile up the team" come Monday's workout. He didn't tell me his plan.
Flashback to 1992:
I'm a high school freshman on the junior varsity basketball team. The coach, Brian Wierke. The man knew basketball, and was a recent college graduate from Bemidji State University. While there he was a four year college basketball letter winner and was captain of the team. I immediately liked him. He taught me more about basketball than any of my other coaches. He was a yeller, and when we didn't play well - he let us know about it. We were horrible, so he yelled a lot. He once said that if he stopped yelling, that was a sign that he stopped caring. That stuck with me.
Fast forward 18 years to Monday's workout:
When the cross country coach told me he was going to "rile up the team" I wasn't sure what he was going to say, I was expecting the inevitable. Fireworks. He was going to let them have it. I knew that for sure. He cares for the kids on the team as if they are his own sons and daughters, and like coach Wierke said, if the coach stops yelling, he stops caring.
It's now 3:15. While the cross country team is warming up, the coach solemnly sits on the bench. He doesn't say a word. He pays no attention to the team. When the team is finished warming up he calls them over and has them take a seat on the ground.
A few moments of silence pass... and visions of a Hitler like rampage are running through my head. (For an example go here ).
Then he spoke, "This time of year, in any sport, kids start to lose interest. Last week there were a lot less runners on Thursday than there was on Monday, and for Saturdays workout only a couple of you showed up. I sometimes forget that not everyone has the same passion for running that I do."
He paused. Turned his hat backwards, put on sunglasses, and from his backpack he took out...
a harmonica. And started to sing: "The cross country blues!" A humorous song that brought smiles to all the kids faces and encouraged them to run strong and to run for each other - the cornerstones of the cross country team. He also sang of how fast the season flies by, and to appreciate each day together. He had spent the whole weekend writing the music and lyrics. It was awesome!
Now you tell me which method is more powerful, yelling or "The Blues"? Today I learned a valuable lesson, that you can accomplish more by building up students, then by yelling.
Thanks Coach!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Factory society
Typical formula for success in America:
1) Listen to what your teachers say - follow instructions
2) Get good grades, graduate from high school
3) Go to college - listen to your professors
4) Declare a major that will determine your career path
5) Take out major school loans to pay for college
6) Graduate from college with major debt
7) Get a job, marry a trophy wife, buy a house, a new car, and have children.
8) Work hard for somebody else so that you can pay your bills. Repeat day after day.
Do you know anyone who has followed these 8 steps? If you know me, then you do. Am I leading a successful life? I'm not sure. (Although I Totally lucked out on #7)
I kinda feel like a product out of a factory. A factory who's product is starting to become obsolete. Hidden somewhere, deep down I hear a voice calling for me to do more. It's a tiny voice. Questions arise:
Should I listen the voice or stay on the same path?
What exactly am I being called to do?
Am I happy with the way things are going?
What if I change... and the change is awesome?
What if I try something different and fail?
Could I recover?
What if I do nothing?
Am I alone, or do you too have an inner yearning, a belief that you are called to do more. Have you acted on those gut feelings? Is the voice getting louder?
I think the trick is to listen to that voice... and then start small. Baby steps. Gradually grow until you know its possible - then you go for mastery. But the important thing is action. If you fail, you learn. If you learn, you can do it better next time.
Anyone want to join me? I have a feeling this factory system won't cut it much longer.
1) Listen to what your teachers say - follow instructions
2) Get good grades, graduate from high school
3) Go to college - listen to your professors
4) Declare a major that will determine your career path
5) Take out major school loans to pay for college
6) Graduate from college with major debt
7) Get a job, marry a trophy wife, buy a house, a new car, and have children.
8) Work hard for somebody else so that you can pay your bills. Repeat day after day.
Do you know anyone who has followed these 8 steps? If you know me, then you do. Am I leading a successful life? I'm not sure. (Although I Totally lucked out on #7)
I kinda feel like a product out of a factory. A factory who's product is starting to become obsolete. Hidden somewhere, deep down I hear a voice calling for me to do more. It's a tiny voice. Questions arise:
Should I listen the voice or stay on the same path?
What exactly am I being called to do?
Am I happy with the way things are going?
What if I change... and the change is awesome?
What if I try something different and fail?
Could I recover?
What if I do nothing?
Am I alone, or do you too have an inner yearning, a belief that you are called to do more. Have you acted on those gut feelings? Is the voice getting louder?
I think the trick is to listen to that voice... and then start small. Baby steps. Gradually grow until you know its possible - then you go for mastery. But the important thing is action. If you fail, you learn. If you learn, you can do it better next time.
Anyone want to join me? I have a feeling this factory system won't cut it much longer.
Friday, September 17, 2010
The problem with blogs
Is it me, or is there some sort of negative vibe that comes with writing a blog? I kinda sense it. Is this why more people don't write a blog? That's too bad, because I tell you what, we all have survival stories and uplifting news that many people would benefit from and want to hear about.
Here is a few stories that some of you could provide that would generate interest:
The story about how you met your D. A. (Domestic Associate) aka your spouse.
The story of what got you through a tough loss of either a friend or family member.
The lessons learned from your terrible or great boss.
The many stories of what it's like to be a stay at home mom.
If you are in a job you love, what steps did you take to get that job?
In order to succeed in anything we all have sacrificed something - What price did you have to pay and how did you do it?
Maybe why more people don't write a blog is because we create excuses like:
"I'm not good enough"
"People will laugh at me"
"I'm too busy"
"I don't write well"
"People don't care about me"
"My mother didn't breast feed me as a child"
We come up with so many excuses that we become paralyzed. Then we don't do the work. Don't listen to the excuses in your brain! I have news for you people - you have stories that should be shared, you have the ability to do great work and the simple act of deciding to write about it, will separate you from others and may even lead to new opportunities for you. If anything else - blogging is a neat way to connect with others.
Have a blog you want to share? List it in the comments section - I promise to read it and share with others if you like.
Here is a few stories that some of you could provide that would generate interest:
The story about how you met your D. A. (Domestic Associate) aka your spouse.
The story of what got you through a tough loss of either a friend or family member.
The lessons learned from your terrible or great boss.
The many stories of what it's like to be a stay at home mom.
If you are in a job you love, what steps did you take to get that job?
In order to succeed in anything we all have sacrificed something - What price did you have to pay and how did you do it?
Maybe why more people don't write a blog is because we create excuses like:
"I'm not good enough"
"People will laugh at me"
"I'm too busy"
"I don't write well"
"People don't care about me"
"My mother didn't breast feed me as a child"
We come up with so many excuses that we become paralyzed. Then we don't do the work. Don't listen to the excuses in your brain! I have news for you people - you have stories that should be shared, you have the ability to do great work and the simple act of deciding to write about it, will separate you from others and may even lead to new opportunities for you. If anything else - blogging is a neat way to connect with others.
Have a blog you want to share? List it in the comments section - I promise to read it and share with others if you like.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Refrigerator Rights
Open up that icebox and find yourself surprised to find all the necessary ingredients for the perfect sandwich. Thick slices of meat from the butcher, garden fresh tomato, cheese, lettuce, mayo, and right in the middle, my personal favorite, one egg over easy with the yolk all smothered everywhere between two pieces of sturdy Texas toast. Get your sandwich on long, get your sandwich on strong!
You're in sandwich heaven, baby.
The question is, when a friend comes over, do they have refrigerator rights in your house? Is your relationship close enough that they can come into your house - prop open that fridge door and help themselves to your sandwich fixins? How about your kid's friends?
What if you only have one cup of chocolate Jello Pudding left!? Do you still give your friend refrigerator rights?
Can you do me a favor? Send a friend or two a link to my blog and tell them they have refrigerator rights in your house. Thanks! www.justgettingwarmedup.blogspot.com
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