Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Where you're at is not as important as....

Two statements really struck me today.
1) Where you're at is not nearly as important as where you're headed, and
2) Your attitude toward your problem is the most important factor in overcoming
your problem.

My wife and I have been married for eight years and have had a happy marriage for about
seven of those eight years. Three years ago September was the beginning of our most difficult year of marriage. We purchased a small business. Awakenings Coffee Shop. The price was low and the thought of being our own boss was calling. Buying a coffee shop was all my wife Autumn could think about. I was, to put it nicely, hesitant. 

Autumn and I purchased the coffee shop for under $12,000 and took out a line of credit for start-up cash.  We opened the business in September.   Two months later Autumn's step-dad and only father figure died of cancer.  By December the coffee had lost so much money that our start-up cash was gone.  The coffee shop went from being a fun idea to a huge strain.  Fear was everywhere.  Anxiety filled Autumn.  She couldn't eat and was constantly sick to her stomach.  I felt so much resentment towards my wife in causing this huge burden that I abandoned her.  Not physically, but mentally.  I blamed her for everything.  She walked alone when she needed a husband the most. 

That summer gas hit $4/gallon, and the great recession was starting, spelling more bad news for a struggling coffee shop.  By the fall we were looking to sell the coffee shop and fortunately were able to find a buyer by December. 

The selling of the coffee shop did not end our troubles.  The sale did not bring enough money to settle our debts.  Autumn and I would lick our wounds, and spend the next year healing our marriage and our finances.   

Which brings me to the point of today's post - where you're at is not as important as where you're headed.  The coffee shop, in a way has been a huge blessing for us.  Yes it was a dark hole in our career, marriage, and family - but through the struggle - I realized the importance of standing together as one with your spouse, and how and when to support her.   I love her more than ever.  On top of all the loving we are doing on one another, the financial hit the coffee shop brought us, sent my wife and I to a place we don't ever want to be again.  Broke!  Now we spend every dollar wisely.  We are close to being debt free and financial independence. (We just knocked down another debt last week)

I may not like where we are at - I know I don't like where we were - but I like where we are headed.

And I hope that gives you inspiration to head in the right direction.

1 comment:

  1. Nate--this is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your story. You and Autumn are very fortunate to stand together. (please come see us again soon!)