Your Heart

Christina is 40 years old.  She's been happily married for 15 years, has three beautiful children and a husband that cherishes her.  In high school she dated a handsome shy boy named Tom, which before long turned into a serious relationship.  This was Christina's first love, and first loves are often intense, and this one was no different.  Christina dated Tom into their college years where talks of marriage weren't just dreams, but an inevitability - and not just for Christina and Tom, but for their friends and parents.  In fact their parents were so sure that these two would marry, that they had no problems with the college sophomores driving to Colorado from Wisconsin to spend a week of vacation alone in the mountains.  A few years into this courtship Christina took the opportunity to study abroad in Spain while Tom stayed back home.  During Christina's time out of the country, Tom found another girl and broke up with Christina.  Christina was so devastated that it took two years before she would date again. 

Over 20 years later, Christina's heart, still holds feelings for Tom.  20 years past the heartache - the feelings still remains.  She wakes up in the middle of the night dreaming of Tom.  Her heart will not extinguish the flame.   The heart has found new love, a deeper love with her husband and children... but Tom is still there.

Two years ago Tammy lost her brother in a hunting accident.  He drove a grey Jeep Cherokee.  Every time a grey Jeep drives past, her heart races thinking it might be him.   A month ago she walked passed a grey jeep in the parking lot.  It sounds odd, but she couldn't refrain herself to look in the vehicle to see if maybe if it was her brother's.

Michael Jordan was made to play basketball.  He was the best player during his era, and is arguably the best player of all time.  He has failed in every other endeavor.  He tried baseball, failed.  His marriage - ended in divorce, His NBA Washington Wizards team - worst team in the league.  Gambling = major fail.  All this failure and I can see why M.J. kept coming back to play after all those retirements.   

Tammy will never get her brother back, Christina will never get Tom back, and Michael Jordan will never play in the NBA again.  But this is where their hearts ache and remain.     

The pain hurts and may never go away.  We ask ourselves why?  Why did I lose the job I loved?  Why hasn't the girl called me back?  Why hasn't my prayer been answered?  I don't know.  Sometimes we get clarity, but often we don't. 

In the book Desire, author John Eldredge writes, "God has something in mind.  He is deeply and personally committed in restoring humanity.  Restoring you.  There was a man or woman in mind when He made you... And now what He is up to is restoring you.  The way that happens is to shape your life along the same lines as the life of His Son.  To shape you in the image of His Son.  Whatever else might be going on in your life, God always has an eye on your transformation."


Through the struggles and broken heart God is shaping you so that you can grow and have a stronger relationship with others and Him.  You can't trust unless you learn forgiveness.  You can't be a good friend if you are selfish.  You can't find peace if you are ruled by worry.  You can't be truly elevated unless you are humble (insert Denny Hecker example).  It's the ultimate paradox.  And yet, for me and for most of us, it is a difficult pill to swallow.

AFTERTHOUGHT:
If God is in control and if you are still walking on this spinning rock, then your life has a purpose.  God has plans for you.  You have unfinished work to do.    God is shaping you to do remarkable things in this world and in the next.