High Wire Act

In 1974 a man named Philippe Petit wanted to walk on a high wire 1,350 feet in the air between the World Trade Center Towers.  This illegal remarkable feat would take years of preparation, exuberant expenses, and a willingness to accept potential high risk collapse.   At best, failure would mean wasted time and effort, at worst, failure would mean death and heartache.

For Philippe, there was no choice.  Despite the danger, despite the high cost of failure, the Twin Towers called for him.  This was why he was born.  Every fiber in his being begged for him to walk on a wire.  He was going to risk everything.

After years of wire walking training, years of planning, and several lucky breaks, the moment finally came for Philippe to live out his dream.  He approached the wire, and with one foot anchored on the wire, and with one foot anchored to the building, Philippe had a decision to make,

"Do I shift my weight from the building and onto the wire?  This is something that probably is the end of my life if I step on that wire.  But something that I could not resist, and I did not make any attempt to resist, called me onto that cable.  And death is very close."

He performed for nearly an hour.  Lying down on the cable, kneeling on the cable, and dancing. 

Want to know the whole story.  Watch the movie: Man on Wire.

  

Guide for Surviving Jordan, Minnesota

Growing up in Jordan, then moving away for a short time only to come back and raise a family, I've come to appreciate the quaint and calming parts of a old town that's just on the outskirts of the twin cities metro area, but yet has all of the aspects of small town Minnesotan near the countryside and the river bluffs.  

Summers are glorious in Jordan and if you are a baseball fan there is simply nothing better than a ball game at the historic Jordan baseball park, A.K.A. the "mini-met".  With the warm glow of the sun setting beyond left field, the sounds of sand creek, and the smell of popcorn from the concession stand and you might find yourself losing yourself in the moment.  The fresh popcorn smell brings me back to my childhood and going to the game with good ol' dad.  Now my kids come to the game with me.  As I watch the from the top of the small hill on third base side the ball park, the kids laugh and smile as they go up and down.  Rolling down the third base hill has almost become a rite of passage for Jordan youth.

Even though I grew up Catholic in Jordan, I've attended several services at the Lutheran and Baptist Churches.  One thing is very noticeable in each church.  The people.  You're greeted with a welcoming smile.  They are glad you're there.   If you like good food, you are sure to find it at any of the churches in Jordan.  Be it a fish fry, pancake breakfast, or spaghetti dinner, these food fundraisers are a great way to connect with others, fill your belly, and give you the satisfaction of helping someone out.

If you truly want to survive living in Jordan, join the Lions.  They are by far the most fun service group in town.  They take care of each other and especially the community.  When I was recruited by a lion the pitch was, "Join the Lions, we drink beer and give away a bunch of money."  Say no more!  I'm in!  The men in the group are selfless.  They are good people.   Want to survive living in a small town, surround yourself with individuals like this.

For me one of the most therapeutic activities in Jordan is simply going on a walk.  I live in the old part of town which offers many neat walking routes.   You can do the downtown/water street loop, the lagoon park/millpond/waterfalls loop, or for a little more adventure you hike can the bluffs of sand creek or along the Minnesota river.  I'd tell you my favorite walking location, but then I'd have to break your ankles.

In the last several years it seems like some of the residents have become more and more engaged and more and more enraged with proposed projects or initiatives happening in or around Jordan.  The 282/21 construction project, 2009 school district referendum vote, and the new crematorium come to mind.  Jordan seems to be divided more than ever. 

In order to survive here and get along with your neighbors, here are five tips on what NOT to do.
1) Complain about the city council, school board, your neighbors, or anything else regarding the town. 
2) Write nasty letters to the editor in the paper, or write negative comments in the online version of the paper.  Its always tempting to reply to some who you feel is off base, but consider this - no matter how eloquent you write, chances are you won't change their point of view.  Knowing this would you spend the time and energy on an message board responding to an anonymous person?  All you do is upset your neighbor.  Your efforts would be better spent writing a thoughtful letter to a loved one.  Someone who appreciates you.
3) Attend a high school athletic event wearing red and white.  Those are Belle Plaine's school colors.  Not.  Cool.  Maroon and gold is the way to go, baby!
4) Turn in your water/sewer bill late.  Those late fees are killer!
5) Choose McDonald's over Clancys.  That's a rookie mistake.  Clancy's has the best burgers and my favorite pizza, Audrey's Supreme!  I do have to admit, the McDonald's play place is a lifesaver come winter when the playgrounds are covered in snow.


Final Jordan Survival Tip: Be generous.
I think it is human nature to be generous to others.  If we are generous to others, then maybe down the road when we're in trouble the favor will be returned.  As soon as you stop giving, you stop receiving and you lose out.  The goal is to have a Win-Win scenario for everybody.

Be good to your neighbor, you'll need them further down the road.

10 Unconvential Money Tips

When my marriage and family were brand new we made some mistakes.  One of the bigger mistakes had to do with our finances and the purchase of our home.  We bought a charming historic house with the original woodwork, a newly remodeled bathroom, and everything in sound condition.  We purchased the house seven years ago where real estate seemed to be the best investment for your dollar.  Need to pay off your soaring credit card balance?  Roll it into your mortgage!  Want a new car?  Take out a 2nd mortgage!  Doesn't matter, home values are only going UP! UP! UP! Then the housing market crashed.  And I cried.

We bought our house with the intention of staying in it for many years.  So we extended and bought a house out of our price range.  When the credit cards were becoming too large, we rolled them into the mortgage.   Two huge mistakes we learned: don't buy a house with a monthly payment of more than 25% of your take home pay and don't roll your credit cards into your mortgage.

One year into home ownership we discovered two huge problems.  Carpenter ants and bats.  Both were very expensive to remove and bats are almost impossible to get rid of forever.  Then the roof started leaking, and the newly remodeled bathroom needed $4000 worth of repairs.  Apparently the previous owner did all the work himself, and was a lousy carpenter/plumber/electrician.

Throw in two kids in daycare and trying to start a new business that wasn't bringing in money and you've got a recipe for financial disaster.   Despite the financial struggles we never once missed a mortgage payment.  Here are some unconventional tips we used to save money.

1. Canceled cable.... saved us over $40 month and my wife and I learned what it was like to actually talk to each other rather than turn into zombies after the kids went to sleep.
2. Trimmed our food budget to the bare minimum.  Lots of peanut butter sandwiches (which I love).  With the use of coupons and the purchase of generic products we only spent $200/month for our family.  We did learn one thing about generic products... most are great, but nothing beats KRAFT macaroni and cheese.  Never buy generic Mac n Cheese!  We also found out that Target brand has great prices on diapers, formula, and other baby stuff.
3. Prioritized bills.  We always paid the mortgage first.  If we didn't have enough cash for the bills on the bottom of the list, we didn't pay them.  Some months we didn't pay the phone bill, trash, or the natural gas bill.  The late fees were minimal for these and the service after a couple months never stopped.
4. Picked up a bunch of hours working as a part time bartender/waiter at the local golf course.  I discovered that one of the best part time jobs is working as a bartender for events and weddings.  Some weddings you can earn over $50/hour.  Which is twice as much as I make at the school district.  Plus weddings are awfully fun to work.
5. Stopped going out to eat, and didn't go on any vacations.  This was very hard for us.  One summer we had to make the tough phone call to family members that we weren't able to go on the family reunion in Colorado. 
6. Took advantage of daycare reimbursements through my employer so that my daycare costs were taken out of my paycheck before taxes, saving us hundreds.  We did the same with what's called a "Flex Account" for purchases like eye-glasses and dental work, things not covered by health insurance.
7. Autumn and I stopped buying clothes for ourselves, and cut back on buying clothes for the kids.  We started shopping at Goodwill for items such as shoes, jackets, and necessary winter clothing.  Nobody would ever notice.  We were fortunate, the kids did get a bunch of new clothes from grandma and grandpa.
8. Canceled the cell phone.  I know.  Huge.  10 years ago people surprisingly survived without cell phones.
9. Then, a minor entertainment savings was showing up 10 minutes late to the local high school varsity games.  I found that right after tip-off, they close the admission tables and you can get into the games for free.  Didn't save me much, but I didn't fret about having the $5 to get into the game.
10. Made homemade gifts for occasions such as Christmas, birthdays, and weddings.  My wife and mother-in-law bought me a wine making kit for my birthday.  My parents have a huge raspberry patch and people donate their used wine bottles to me.  I can make a bottle of wine for less than a dollar a bottle.  So when it comes time for Christmas, anniversaries, weddings, birthdays, New Year's Eve and other occasions, I give away my wine.  I've continued this and it has literally saved me hundreds of dollars.  Plus my wife makes play-doh, slime, bubbles, and other fun kid friendly gifts so that we don't spend a lot on our nieces, nephews, and our kids' friends for birthdays and Christmas.  Plus these gifts have a lot more meaning behind them than a gift card.  

I'm proud to say we survived our financial hardship without any handouts.  We just rolled up our sleeves and went to work.  Now that we are back on stable financial ground we appreciate the freedom that comes with money in the bank.  We have not reached all of our fiscal goals, but we will never ever again be broke.  

Marriage Woes for Baby Boomers

In Sunday's StarTribune newspaper there was a front page story regarding an increasing number of baby boomers who are divorcing.  In fact 25% of divorces today are from those who have been married for 20 years or more.  The baby boom generation has already brought the highest divorce rate the nation has ever known, now they are showing us again how not to have a good marriage.

Interestingly, the fastest growing segment of the population that are now cohabiting, rather than getting married, are those in their 50's.   Shacking it up - it's no longer just for those in their 20s.  

What's going on here?!

The article went on to say that once the children leave the house or the youngest is about to graduate from high school, the children were no longer a reason for the couple to stay together.

My immediate reaction to the story was this:  Start going on more dates people!  Go do something you both enjoy together and love on each other.  And I'm gonna say it - after the date is over, make sure you end up wrapped up in between the sheets together, naked!  Got it?  Good. 

Yes children are important, but let's not forget about your spouse. 

I referenced before on this blog that I'm not a marriage expert.  And I do realize that you baby boomers are old enough to have powdered by butt, - BUT, I do love my wife more than ever and we've got a good thing going.  I think we're doing some things right, so hopefully my advice carries some weight.

Here are four reasons why author Bryan Davis thinks marriage is awesome.

1. Marriage done right makes you less selfish

It's not the institution of marriage that is failing.  It's us.  We, overall as a culture, are just more selfish.  It's all about us.  I have needs and if they're not met, I'm outta here.  Rather, marriage done right isn't as much about what we feel as how we can meet the needs of our spouse.  It's sacrificing ourselves to be others-centered, starting with our spouse.  In a nutshell, the most vibrant marriages are also the least selfish.  And this trait is acquired over a lifetime.  The more selfless you become, the more you will love your spouse.  And selfless, others-centered folks have a healthy spillover effect on their surrounding culture.

2. Marriage done right makes you healthier

Every single serious study ever done on marriage and singleness clearly shows that married folks live longer, healthier lives.  Most recently, The Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health found that compared with married people, people who are widowed are 40 percent more likely to die, people who are divorced or separated are 27 percent more likely to die, and people who have never married were 58 percent more likely to die.  The main reason?  We were designed to be in a flourishing, monogamous relationship with a spouse.  When we deny this, the very way we are made, our minds, bodies and souls suffer.

3. Marriage done right is what's best for your kids

Similar to the overwhelming conclusion of marital studies on the impact of health, virtually all research shows that the two-parent home is what is best for children.  Recently, The Future of Children, a journal published jointly by the non-partisan Brookings Institution and Princeton University, found that children from two-parent families are better off emotionally, socially and economically.  Contrast that with the fact that the average prison inmate came from a single parent home according to the National Resource Center on Children and Families of the Incarcerated.  Your kids need a healthy relationship modeled – your marriage.

4. Marriage done right is God's best for your life story

There is the gift of singleness, no doubt, but for the vast majority of us, marriage is God's best.  According to Genesis 2, marriage is the first and most important institution God created – preceding governments, churches and schools.  God designed us and knows what's best for us.  He doesn't want us alone.  He wants us "one flesh" with another human being.  As our Creator, let's not doubt His goodness to us.  Marry well.  Live well.

The List

Years ago, while still attending Jordan High School, (Go Hubmen!) the school brought in a former NFL back-up quarterback to speak to us.  I looked forward to it only because it meant a break from the classroom.  

This guy told me something that changed how I approached life.  I mean this advice really gave me focus.  Something I didn't have.  It was simply advice and easy to do and I'd like to share it with you.

He told the class to think of all the things you want to accomplish in life and write it on paper.  Then place your list by your bedroom door so you see it everyday.

The speaker told us that this uncomplicated plan had worked for him and would work for us too.  Here he was, a successful athlete giving us his secret to life!  I decided that I would do the same thing.

I went home that afternoon and constructed this list (please remember I was in high school at the time):

1. Hit a home run.
2. Dunk a basketball
3. Score a touchdown in a varsity game
4. Never do drugs
5. Don't drink alcohol in high school
6. Go to college and graduate
7. Other stuff that doesn't need to be mentioned here!

I completed the list and taped it to my bedroom door where I would see it everyday.  I eventually crossed off all except numbers 2 and 3.  I actually dunked a volleyball the summer going into my senior year, and during homecoming was tackled on the 10 yard line on my way to the endzone.  That tackle also tore my ACL ending my football career.  If that tackle doesn't injure me, I'm pretty sure everything on my list gets crossed off.

Here is my list today...

1. Start my own business that allows me to live each day how I want.
2. Marry a beautiful wife and have a family.  Done.
3. Make the day I marry my wife the day I love her the least. (so far so good)
4. Become a community education director.  Done.
5. Become debt free.
6. Go to Italy, Egypt, and Alaska.
7. Become a great Dad that spends qualitative and quantitative time with his kids.
8. Write a book.
9. Run a marathon.  Done
10. Tip a waitress $100 on Thanksgiving day.
11. Go skydiving.
12. Continually grow in my relationship with Christ.

I share this with you, because I think by publicly sharing it gives me some accountability to cross off items.  I have a feeling it will work.  Feel free to share with me your list at: nathanwarden@hotmail.com.  Want me to help you cross things off?  Let me know, I'd love to help!

A Closed Mind?

I work with a great group of people.  It's a big reason why I enjoy my job.  I can honestly say that if it weren't for them, I'd most likely be actively looking for a new position. 

One particular co-worker is so hard working and dedicated that I can't help but appreciate everything she does.  In return, I'd like to help her out with some of her goals.

So I asked her one day, "What is one thing that you've always wanted to accomplish, but haven't?"  Her response was, "I've always wanted to travel.  To get on an airplane and go somewhere." Later she told me that not only had she never been on an airplane, but she's never left the state of Minnesota.  When I asked what were the barriers for her to go somewhere she said money and nobody to go with.  Her husband loves his farm and prefers to stay close to home.  Two big barriers. 

Right away in my mind I was contemplating solutions to her obstacles.  "I bet her daughter would go with her, and I bet if she set aside just two dollars a day, at the end of the year she could pay for herself to go on a nice trip.  If she saved two bucks for two years, she could pay for herself and someone else".
A simple, fairly easy plan I thought.  I became excited for her that I had to share my ideas.   So I did.  And I think she liked my plan and became excited!  This was going to be a great experience! 

Unfortunately I've uncovered what I think is her biggest obstacle.  Her mind.  Later in the week, she was filled with hesitation and was coming up with different plans on how to better use her money.  "What if something needs to be fixed, our house needs some repairs.  I think the money would be better used for something else."

Right then, I knew she wasn't going to get on an airplane.  Ever.

I think for years she has told herself over and over again that she would always like to travel but she'll never be able to.  She has told herself this for so long that it has become her truth.

I've become frustrated with the situation.  The solution seems easy to me.  How do I convince her that she can accomplish a life long dream?  I get frustrated because I don't think I can change her mind.  Maybe I'm a frustrated too because I have areas in my life that I could accomplish, but choose to believe I can't. 

So I have questions for "Just Getting Warmed Up" readers:
What do I do now?
Should I do anything else for my co-worker or just drop it?

I leave you with some quotes that relate to accomplishment.

• If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place − Nora Roberts

• Where hope grows, miracles blossom − Elna Rae

• Hope never abandons you, you abandon it − George Weinberg

• Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance − Bruce Barton

• A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing − George Bernard Shaw
  

Five Years

Five years ago my son was just born, my wife worked a part-time position at the church, and I was a youth programs coordinator for Shakopee Community ed.  With a growing family and expenses, I focused my efforts on getting my community ed. director's license so that I could find a job that paid the bills and one I would enjoy.

The Shakopee Community ed. position gave me my first break.  Before landing the Shakopee job I had applied for many recreation and community ed. positions and was called to do a few interviews, only to be told, "We hired someone with more experience."

The phrase, "We hired someone with more experience." was something that I was hearing again now that I was applying for community ed. director positions.  Not only was I applying for director positions, I was looking for coordinator positions in other districts that paid substantially more than I was making.

I applied, and interviewed for at least two dozen positions five years ago and wasn't offered anything.  Each failed interview I learned something.  I learned likely interview questions, learned to make sure I knew where the interview was (I was 20 minute late for one), and to research on each agency I applied for.  The turning point came when I was asked to apply for a coordinator's job in a nearby district.  The position was identical to mine in Shakopee, only it paid $15,000 more.  Undoubtedly I felt I was the best candidate with the most experience.   I still didn't get the job.   I failed again.  I was crushed and bitter.  I knew I needed to raise the bar on how I presented myself during the interview.  So I vowed to research more on the jobs I was applying for and spend more time on my delivery.   If this didn't work, it would be a serious blow to my confidence and ego.

A few months after the failed interview, a community ed. director's position opened up that was very intriguing.  I applied and was asked to come in for an interview.   I had a week to prepare.  Here is what I did.

Day 1. Bought a brand new suit, shirt, tie and shoes.  I now looked sharp.
Day 2. Drove to the city the job was located in with my family, stopped at the Dairy Queen and asked the locals about community ed - and what they thought about the community ed. program.  Then I drove to the library to pick up the community ed. catalog to learn more about the community ed. department.
Day 3. Wrote potential interview questions and wrote my answers.
Day 4. Called the person who's job I was replacing and asked questions about the district, the position, potential obstacles and some positives about the community ed. department.
Day 5.  My wife conducted a mock interview with me.
Day 6.  Spent several hours rehearsing answers with my wife and tweaking answers to fit what I wanted to say.

So I walked into the interview, gave everyone a firm handshake and a smile.  And nailed the interview.  Fortunately, they asked questions I prepared for.  And because I had practiced extensively, I didn't fumble over my words and wasn't as nervous.  Practice had given me confidence.

Two days later they offered me the position.

Today I finally have my community ed. director position in a great school district.   I love this job, but I want to challenge myself and in the next five years hope to have new position closer to home or a position in a larger school district.

Five years from now, my son will be 10 and in fourth grade.  Five years from now... if history shows any consistency a lot will happen in your life.   The next five years may bring new jobs, new learning opportunities, and challenges.  Looking back at the last five years, and looking in the future and where I want to be five years from now, I hope I continue to grow in all aspects of my life, my faith, family, financially, and my career.  It goes by fast.  In the span of 10 years much can change dramatically. 

What would you say to the person you were five years ago?  What would you say to the person you'll be in five years?